Anonymous asked:

I've met allot of new people at college. We exchanged numbers but now they keep blowing up my phone! As an INTJ, I'm very protective of my free time. How can I be pleasent with them, but make them leave me alone? To clarify they message me multiple times a day..

That’s awesome, anon! It can sometimes be hard to make connections at college, and it’s great that you’ve been mingling.

Just be polite, and treat it as a raincheck instead of a flat-out rejection. “Hey man, I’m sorry, but I’m worn out. I need some me time. I’ll catch you later though, alright?”

You get the solitude you need, and they get the verification that a. you would like to spend time with them but b. you can’t and it isn’t their fault. Plus, you’re being completely honest.

If the constant texting and calling is wearing you out just hearing your phone, keep it on vibrate. People generally get the message after their calls keep going to voicemail It’s a little less polite, but then, calling somebody incessantly isn’t what I would call polite either.

I think it’s also worth considering that when people first go into a foreign environment where they don’t know anybody, they tend to latch onto a few people like drowning sailors cling to flotsam until they make friends of actual substance. The friends you make right away at college (generally, I find, roommates/floormates) often aren’t the friends that stick around- these are the ones you make later, through your classes or extracurriculars.

In the beginning, it’s less about having a genuine friendship than having somebody you can hang out with just to anchor yourself until you grow more comfortable. That’s been my observation, anyway.

Anonymous asked:

Ah hey it's the "elitist INTJ" from the post about having a hard time making friends, and after seeing your answer about it being a "me problem" reblogged several times on my dash, admittedly I was a bit more than annoyed. More like infuriated. But then I realized, hey, it IS a me problem, and it's something I seriously need to work through. So, sorry to bother you, but I appreciate the harsh truth. I rarely get it, but I need it. Thanks for the wakeup call.

You show admirable grace, anon. Best wishes in your travels.

Anonymous asked:

What do INTJs think about INTPs, the way they think and work?

One of my closest friends is an INTP. Our friendship is strange and wonderful and natural. She thinks I’m rough around the edges and too quick to act. I think she’s a bit eccentric, with lofty, fluffy dreams that seem impossible to me but I could imagine her achieving. There is a great mutual respect between us- we are both intelligent women, exercising our agency and pursuing our goals… granted, I repeatedly launch myself like a cannonball at my goals, where she goes on a circuitous stroll in their general direction where she might one day happen upon them. We can go months or years without seeing or talking to each other, and then when we meet again, it’s like no time has passed at all. No other friendship I have had has been so easy, so stress-free, and so delightfully thought-provoking.

In short, my experience with INTPs is that we click, but it’s as though we function on two separate, parallel planes of existence, with the INTJ trudging the ground and the INTP wisping along through the sky. They have a different perspective and a different way of approaching situations and doing things, but our actions seem to complement each other nicely. I think INTJs and INTPs make a great team, as friends, lovers, or coworkers, as long as their interests are aligned.

What has been your experience, readers?

Anonymous asked:

Hello. I'm an INTJ. (At least that's what the test tells me I am.) As an INTJ (or I in general) I don't have many friends (maybe about 3/4 who I talk to?). One of my friends is really popular. I think I may have gotten attached to our friendship and decided to recluse myself. I'm wondering if I'm not really an INTJ because I can't stand myself for needing my few friends but yet it seems like I can't escape it? I can't stand that this is bothering me because it really shouldn't be.

Introverted does not mean antisocial. INTJs rely on human contact as much as everyone else, though many of us may be satisfied with fewer relationships and less overall interaction. Friendships and other interpersonal relationships anchor us, keep us connected to the world, and keep our minds focused. Without external information, we tend to fall into a feedback loop with ourselves until we’re lost in our own thoughts and they cease to be rational and reasonable.

Relationships keep us healthy. They are a source of joy, meaning, and catharsis. They teach us how to cooperate and communicate and connect.

Needing your friends is not weakness, and isn’t at all abnormal- it’s good! Don’t be ashamed of that. If you’re good to your friends and they’re good to you, and you are happy with your relationship, that’s all that matters. When life gives you a box of chocolates, you don’t throw them straight in the dumpster!

Anonymous asked:

As an INTJ, I find that I have a hard time maintaining relationships, primarily due to the fact that I have a low tolerance for anyone who is less intelligent than me. I tend to be quick to criticize and this obviously poses a problem. Any advice?

This isn’t an INTJ problem, it’s a you problem.

Get off your high horse and learn to mingle with people from all walks of life. You’re probably not as smart as you think you are, and they almost certainly aren’t as stupid as you think they are. And you certainly aren’t perfect yourself. Would you want to be friends with somebody who constantly picked at your flaws and acted like they thought they were better than you?

Elitism gets you nowhere.

Anonymous asked:

what do intj's look like? i mean do they usually have some kind of look to them or something??

We look pissed and reclusive. Like somebody who woke up to find the world had moved ahead two days instead of one, nothing is where it should be, and everybody keeps smiling too much and getting in the way. Alternately, we may also look vaguely zombielike- glazed eyes, strange movements, groaning…

That’s not to say we’re an ill-tempered people; we just tend to look that way.

But, I mean, feel free to reblog with selfies, followers, if that’s your thing. Stun them with your indomitable beauty/handsomeness.

Anonymous asked:

well, I like your site, but very soon I got completely tired with those flashing orange circles that really annoys me - more over, there is no description what they actually do and how to remove it. Please, make your interesting site more user friendly without this.... regards from an INTJ

You are more than welcome to spend your time and/or money to provide the blog with a theme of similar mechanics and appearance that you consider more user friendly. I would be happy to consider any theme you offer, and I’m glad you like the blog.

Anonymous asked:

Do INTJs sometimes feel a little warm in their heart about being the anomaly? I mean we are the 2% haha. Usually do INTJs (I deal with this a lot) have a very unusual contradiction of confidence borderline arrogance with our intellectual might, yet humility of not knowing enough about everything. I am a walking contradiction as I say both things in the same breath.

Some INTJs are arrogant, just as some of any type are arrogant, because a portion of all humans are arrogant, and most people are arrogant at some point in their lives.

If there is a higher rate of perceived arrogance among INTJs and other less common types, I propose it’s because these people have felt left out most of their lives and have finally found a way to feel special and understood.

INTJs in particular often seem arrogant to other types because we know what we do and don’t know, and what we are and are not capable of. We are confident in our knowledge and abilities, but also in understanding that there are gaps in both that we have yet to fill. It’s not so much arrogance and humility as blunt honesty, in my opinion- most people are simply so unused to seeing people behave like that that they don’t know how to label it without laying blame/praise on the ego.

mikoto-rin asked:

Hey dude Sorry you have to deal with these people who won't quit bothering you with troll questions and questions you don't want to answer Do you mind if I ask you a cool question then? How do you feel about being an INTJ?

I feel very little about being an INTJ. If I weren’t an INTJ, I’d be something else, and that’s fine too. It’s not a huge deal.

It’s like your blood type- on a few very specific occasions it’s really helpful to know your type, and it’s something you might want to tuck away in your memory forever, and it might be something you are interested in, but in general, it’s largely useless information. Knowing your type probably shouldn’t and wouldn’t largely alter your life, but might offer some clarity and insight where there was none before. That is the purpose it serves.

Also, if somebody in meatspace seems overly interested in your type (either sort), you may want to consider running the other way very quickly.

Anonymous asked:

Your responses only make it abundantly clear how easy it is to troll an INTJ. Wouldn't be surprised if your last ask was made my an ENTP lol.

It isn’t trolling. It’s a nuisance. I don’t get to just ignore the entire inbox; this blog is largely submission based. So when a bunch of special snowflakes decide they want validation from a stressed out stranger, I have to manually sort through all their ridiculous asks. It’s an endless flood if idiocy streaming through my inbox and making it difficult to find anything of actual value.

What I publish is only a tiny fraction of what I have to put up with. It’s annoying, it slows things down for everybody else who isn’t looking for asspats, and frankly, it makes me want to delete all related posts and close asks and submissions for a couple months just to get rid of them.

I think it’s fair for me to ask people to stop. I also think it’s fair for me to stop being nice about it when nobody listens.