Please search the blog before asking questions. It’s been around for about two and a half years now; I’ve probably already touched on the subject.
Not yet, life happened. Apologies.
I am an INTJ, and my friend and I went out in public the other day, and I kept seeing the same people everywhere. Like, everywhere (Granted we were at an amusement park but still it was very large). Is it common for an INTJ to have very good facial recognition? Or are we the most paranoid type? Or is it just me?
I’m face blind, so I don’t really know? I don’t think we’re overly paranoid, though, just observant when we choose to be. Opinions, readers?
Met a guy at a party. His mother (didntmeet her)&I have a similar, rare interest so we hit it off &talked a bit; not excessively. I messaged him on facebook &we interacted a bit via messages before the line of conversation drifted and quit. (He lives three hours away so it's not like I see him often.) Now I hear he's going to send me a handwritten note asking me to prom. I went to prom with a girl (friend) last year &she ditched me. I don't really know him/bamboozled how to respond. I'm an INTJ.
Eh, just go for it. Worst that can happen is you dress all fancy and eat fancy food on your own.
I didn’t go to my own senior prom or post-prom; my grandma’s funeral was the same day. I did go to my cousin’s prom, though (she begged me), with a friend of hers I had only ever met once. He came down with the flu and was sick through the whole day. He ended up puking everywhere and had to leave prom about 15 minutes in, leaving me stuck in downtown Chicago with absolutely nobody I knew, since my cousin had sort of abandoned me to party hard on the dance floor. I mostly just hung out on the balcony enjoying the view of the lakefront. Post-prom was on a cruise ship on the lake, and I pretty much just ate finger food the whole time and waited for it to end.
Now, that’s kind of worst-case scenario, and I didn’t have the time of my life, but it wasn’t absolutely terrible. I doubt anything so dramatic will happen at this prom, and if you and the guy get along, why not? It doesn’t have to lead to anything. Enjoy the dress and the food, I say.
What do you say to people who believe MBTI is false and a waste of time because psychology doesn't believe in it?
I think that’s about as silly as saying the Dewey Decimal System or taxonomic keys are false. People aren’t forced like square pegs through round holes in MBTI, but rather are classified based on how they already are. All MBTI does is organize and deconstruct in ways that make different groupings of people easier to understand, the same way examining and giving scientific names to new species helps us understand where they lie in relation to other species, or the way the DDS organizes books by subject and author so we can navigate more easily.
MBTI is a tool, not a philosophy, and therefore can’t really be wrong, per se, only misused and misunderstood.
Do you find you're okay with relationships ending? A lot of friends I have get nearly depressed when they break up, but personally (well, from the few relationships that I've had) I don't get too hurt emotionally.
I have never been in anything I would call a relationship. I’ve dated, but never one person regularly. I am consistently underwhelmed with my selection of men. That may just be me, though, and not a reflection on my local cohort.
At any rate, as platonic relationships go, I handle “breakups” fairly well. I remember the good times shared, and I will always have those memories, but if they are in the past, it’s best not to drag on the bad times. I have been the friend dumper, and the dumpee. I was largely unbothered, and in some cases, relieved. It’s not that I don’t value my friendships or other relationships, but if one or both parties are irreparably unhappy, then it must end for everybody’s sake. Sometimes I’m struck by melancholy after the fact, especially if I get the sensation I was a transitional friend to something “better,” as if my friendship was preferable only to being entirely friendless, but it passes. I don’t brood on the past if I can help it (although I am prone to musing, but that’s more introspection than self-pitying). All things end, one way or another, and it is up to us how we will respond to it- positively or negatively. I choose to maintain a positive outlook. I have a future beyond other people. I am the only indisputable constant in my life, and therefore, I content myself with myself.
Worth noting that I am also not very good at grieving when people die for very much the same reasons. And breakup blues are really a form of grieving, aren’t they? At any rate, grieving does not bring the dead back to life. It’s a process to make the mourner learn to deal with the fact that the dead are no longer in their lives. I prefer to skip the grief and go straight to acceptance. I may have loved and appreciated the deceased and will remember them fondly, but they are gone, and it’s entirely unproductive fixating on my own sense of loss. Nobody benefits; I’ve spent years of my life trying to be happier, and I will not throw a wrench into my own gears. And the dead certainly don’t care. As for exes, well. They’re out of the picture, for one reason or another. Their concerns are not yours. And frankly, if your ex wants you to grieve the fact they’re gone, they’re either a dick or deluded anyway. That’s just my perspective
How about you, readers? How do you handle breakups? Are you a griever, or do you shrug, sigh, and move on?
Mix, no. Borderline… sort of. You can be a mild version of your type but you can’t straddle two. There are no shared edges between types. They exist independently.
In the future, readers, please search the tags before asking a broad question because the chances are good I’ve already answered it.
I am unable to physically enjoy sexual activity. I have slept with both men and women and have yet to find an experience that leaves me satisfied. My previous girlfriend suggested I do not like being vulnerable. Is this common amongst other INTJs?
I think we have to be very close to a person for us to intentionally let them see us vulnerable. In my life, there are maybe two or three people I trust enough, and none of them lovers. My brother is the same way, only really trusting a couple people that much. It’s a trait I suspect many INTJs share; it probably bundles in with how slow to trust and love we are.
Or maybe you’re just an asexual romantic. It’s a possibility.
I'm an INTJ that hates science and math. I can't stand equations and theories like that. But I love humanities, memorising an learning new history facts and talking about greater themes in books I read, and I'm an art-major at my school. I take pride in being an INTJ but with this one thing I don't coincide with what the theory states. Is that abnormal?
No. MBTI sorts people according to how they think, not what they think or like. You’re perfectly normal.
I'm an INTJ who has always found artistic creativity to be at the bottom of subjects I've mastered. I'm wondering what your thoughts are on creativity. I've never been good at visual arts, but I'm in an architecture program. It seems like my mind is focused more on efficiency and innovation but I continuously stumble into aesthetically pleasing renderings. I feel like it's cheating the system. I don't think I could ever create something as original as say, Fallingwater, without involving reason.
Art and Science are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. As you said, they are very much rooted at the core of each other. Science is responsible for pigments, processes, whole stylistic periods. Art is responsible for much modern technology, and for much of science and medical education.
Creativity is the moment of epiphany when a new path opens up before you that you hadn’t seen before. It’s a core part of every field. Sometimes creativity or inspiration is spontaneous, but mostly, it’s something you have to work for. Ask any artist how many thumbnails it took before they could close in on the best design, or a composer how long they had to sit at their keyboard fiddling until they could figure out what composition worked best. Or ask a scientist how they underwent designing and executing an experiment. How many hours were spent trying to find the right question to ask, so they might then look for the answer?
A project like Fallingwater is both a marvel of design and engineering because Frank Lloyd Wright understood art and science were inseparable and embraced it. Instead of fighting against science to make a design work, he followed what could work and designed specifically around the space and possibilities.